All the Memberships

I’m the kind of mom who buys all the memberships. 

Science center, botanical garden, zoo: you name it, I buy a membership to it. 

I know a family who buys only one membership per year. They go to that place once a month for 12 months and then buy a different membership for the next year.

That is amazingly sensible and prudent. It’s a careful, scientific approach. My approach is more akin to a blizzard. 

Maybe it’s because there are only two of us that we crave so much outside entertainment. But on Sundays when everything in Acropolis closes (even the public library), we declare Mama/Son Fun Day and get out of town.

My son knows the ropes. We arrive, he walks up to the front desk, plunks down a card with an orchid on the front and announces proudly, “We are members!!”

Which is exactly what he did yesterday. 

This time the cashier just crinkled his brow, looking nonplussed (which is to say confused).

Because we were in Trader Joe’s. 

And Trader Joes does not have a membership.

Now both the cashier and my son were looking at me quizzically.

“So, I guess even if we give you the one with the tiger on the front and the one with the giant atom on it, we still won’t score any free groceries?”

No dice.

So I pulled out a similarly-sized card that amounts to my membership in Chase Bank. The cashier seemed satisfied.

We went on our way, munching dried fruit before we reached the parking lot.

“Good try, son,” I told him between bites.

And if Trader Joe’s ever starts selling memberships, you know who will be the first in line for that!

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