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Just When You Think Your Kid Gets It…
“Mom, how old are you?”“Actually, today is my birthday.”“Does that mean you’re 49?”“Yeah, but you don’t have to tell everyone!”“Oh, I get it. I’ll tell everyone you’re 12. Or 18. You look young, mom, like a teenager.“Oh thanks! I’m flattered. But you don’t need to say I’m 18. Just say I’m 39.”“Oh sure! I can…
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Funny Family Stories and Cosmic Payback!
Every family has stories that get repeated over the years. The stories where you simultaneously dread hearing them and find that they grow funnier with distance. My dad was a prankster. He was known for his dry wit and his laughter. He loved practical jokes. And, like any prankster, he occasionally pushed it too far.…
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The older my son gets, the more I treasure these little-kid moments
My son came home excited about school lunch:“I tried something new!” “Great! What was it?” “Hundred Mountain.” “Hmm, what is hundred mountain?” “It’s this sauce that I really like.” “Oh, could it possibly be thousand island? “Yeah. That’s what I said.” Oh, my heart.
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I left out this one crucial piece of information…
I took my son for a routine eye exam and the doc used a patch so she could test each eye by itself. After she declared everything in good health, she told him he could keep his “pirate patch” as a souvenir. My son was thrilled! He couldn’t wait to show his friends. I dropped…
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Mom Flies Solo’s Dictionary of Online Dating
Let’s face it, Gen Xers: dating has changed a lot since we were young(er)! Creating a profile on an app can make us feel like we need a degree in marketing. We need some updated terminology for what we really encounter in online dating: B Beltie = the ubiquitous selfie showing only a guy and his…
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(More) Bizarre Things My Son Likes to Eat
“Mom, I want cinnamon toast but please don’t toast it.” “If I don’t toast it, the cinnamon and sugar won’t stick to the toast. Maybe we could use some peanut butter to help it stick together?” “No peanut butter. What about glue?” “You can’t eat glue.” “Oh, I eat glue all the time. It’s great!”…
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Why This Speed Dating Site Should Change Its Name
I recently tried online speed dating called “Fun Singles.” Spoiler alert: It was not. It was advertised as “Fun Singles Columbus Metro Area.” I thought I was stretching it when I called Acropolis any kind of “metro area.” But Fun Singles defined the Columbus metro area as everything from the East Coast to Texas. That…
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You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but can you fetch him his readers?
[White background, eyeglasses on table, text “The farther I get into middle age, the more my success in any activity depends totally on whether or not I’ve brought the right pair of glasses for it.”] Don’t miss a laugh! Subscribe below.
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The Dictionary According to my 5YO
Above is a photo of a firefighter holding a fire distinguisher. Fire distinguishers are clearly tools used to distinguish between “fire” and “not fire.”
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This is the best possible description of all of those orange cones
There are still some words that my son doesn’t quite use correctly. Or possibly he uses them better than the rest of us. Take the words “construction” and “destruction”: “Mom, why are we stuck in traffic? Is it because of the Road Destruction?” Yes. Yes it is. 😂🤣 Thanks for reading! Subscribe below to receive…
