Tag: funny mom

  • I’m Not Four! Fractions for Preschoolers

    My son gets mad when he hears me tell someone that he is four. “I’m not four! I’m four and a half.” But I’m not one to be outdone. “Actually you are four and two-thirds.” “Is that more than four and a half?” “Yep.” “I’m not four and a half! I’m four and two-thirds.” “Soon,”…

  • Morning of the Living Dead

    November 22, 2022 My mom turns food into artwork. She is a painter by profession and it shows in everything she does. When my brother and I were growing up, she made birthday cakes for us in the shape of horses and Care Bears and G.I. Joe—anything we wanted. Now when she visits us, she…

  • What Would You Rather Be Doing?

    Once a year at Halloween, thousands of young people flood into Acropolis from out-of-town. They come for a giant block party in which the streets are shut down. By some accounts, the town doubles in size that weekend.  It’s the only time of the year when Acropolis has traffic problems. Which is why I found…

  • Mom Things I Never Thought I Would Say

    “GET BACK IN THERE AND KEEP WATCHING THAT TV SO I CAN FINISH ORDERING THIS PIZZA!!” Who just yelled that? And why did her voice sound so much like mine? #oops If Mom Flies Solo gave you a lift today, please comment and subscribe below and consider supporting at patreon.com/momfliessolo. Thanks for reading!

  • We’re Not in Kansas Anymore

    “Mom, if there were a tornado, could it pick up our entire house?” “No. Not our entire house. It might tear off the roof and damage it.” “Well, C from school had his roof got torn off. They had to get a whole new house. It cost FIFTY bucks!” “Wow…….FIFTY BUCKS! Umm….Scott, could you please get…

  • Ye Olde Chamber Pot

    “Mom, what was it like a long time ago? When you didn’t have water pipes and had to throw your pee and poop out the window? You know, like way back in the 1980s?”

  • Nothin’ Wrong with a Little Junk in the Trunk

    I arrived for grocery pickup and when the clerk brought my order out, I opened my trunk.   To my surprise, I realized that it was already full.   The clerk and I had to finagle groceries around a 16” bike, a skateboard, two helmets, knee and elbow pads, and my spare cloth bags.   I admired my…

  • Adventures of a Single Parent: Online Dating (Part 3)

    The Call of Nature The first time I introduced a guy to my son, I got it all wrong. I mean on every possible front. We hadn’t been dating that long but it was going really well. On the way back from a trip, my son and I were passing through the city in which…

  • Parenting Tip #173

    To bring this look of pure joy to your child’s face, simply move your car seat.  Your child will feast on the smorgasbord of cereal, pretzels, popcorn and dried fruit stored underneath.  And you will never have to worry about running out of car snacks again. It’s a win/win. You’re welcome.

  • Fitness for Parents

    Have you ever found that your idea of time with your child diverges from—well—time with your child? In my imagination: The sun sparkles on the river as my son and I arrive at the bike path. A gentle breeze stirs the morning air, which is slightly crisp. The conditions are perfect for being active. I…